Crossing Path with Ungrateful people in your life
Maintain Silence or Walk Away? – Choice is yours when Gratitude Fails
Gratitude is a lost virtue in today’s world. People tend to forget the past so easily that I am convinced personal ethics and values have gone down the drain. Indeed, the emotionally mature advise not to do anything for people expecting them to return the favor. Undeniably, when we help people, in all probability, they will stab your back at some point in your life. Hence, we need to go with the attitude that if we truly want to help people, we help them, no matter what, expecting nothing in return.
You might have come across ungrateful people in your life. But, what do you do when gratitude fails?
Perhaps one of the following will work to deal with ungrateful people
Have a one-on-one discussion
It will do both parties a great deal of good when they sit together and have a discussion with a positive attitude. It helps to openly confront each other and point out the mistakes of both parties (if any). The aim is to resolve the differences and misunderstandings through the process of disclosing feelings, sharing hurts and reflecting on the good times. This will help both the parties to appreciate the mutual respect and affection that they enjoyed. Consequently, the process should lead to sorting out difference of opinions and build better relationship.
Get Family / Friends involved
In case a personal discussion does not work, it will do good to sort out the feelings with the help of immediate family and friends. Get the family members or friends to clarify the situation to both the parties. Open, transparent talk with the help of loved ones will help to identify lost feelings in a positive manner. A neutral mediator can help them rewind the past and bring out the good times shared by both the parties and leave a gentle reminder of the sacrifices made by the affected party.
Third-party can be involved for helping the two parties come together for mutual benefit. However, the choice of third-party needs to be voluntary and satisfactory to both the parties. At times, the involvement of a third-party can add more trouble to the existing situation. Hence, get someone outside the family or friends circle only when it is truly important and necessary.
My choice would be one of these two…
Sometimes the best strategy is to remain silent and not try to prove anything to anyone. You cannot bring out gratitude in people through justifying yourself or proving your sacrifices. Do not waste your time trying to be nice. It will never be understood. Alternatively, choose to maintain silence. As Josh Billings says, “Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute”.
You cannot force people to be grateful. Either, people will remember how much you have done for them and be grateful all their lives, or they will backstab you and act cool, composed and carry the “I care a damn” attitude. Well, there is no point in maintaining relationship with such kind of ungrateful people. Be it family, friends or colleagues; gather the courage to walk away from them for good.
“Be free of the complexities of drama. Be free of those who live it and those who share it. You’ve been around long enough to see it can never be helpful; cut it away!” Steve Maraboli
Remember, you should not be losing your peace of mind because of ungrateful people. You need to assume your right and self-worth to walk away from people who aren’t worth your time, affection or goodwill.
Thanks to my dear husband for the thought track; used his philosophy of life in writing this post